what comes next?

What comes next

I've been feeling stuck again. If you gave me the option to leave my job and school and start working on an urban farm and teaching yoga I would take you up on it 100%. That's where I'm at in life right now.

Maybe I was right to question going back to school. I'm just not as into it as I used to be. I LOVED these classes in 2010 and 2011, but now I'm just not. Maybe it's because I started off with the wrong class, maybe I'm more jaded about the planning process now, but maybe it's because I'm just done with school. I have my MBA. I have a decent amount of experience in my field. I can start sitting for certification exams next year. Yes, this degree may help me get a "real" planning job (at least make it a little easier) and give me a path into what I would like to study at the PhD level, but I really feel like I'm done, at least with traditional higher education.

After my day job, I want to come home and read a book for fun and cook a delicious meal and get in a meditation and a yoga practice and work on that scarf I started in March. I thought I was lost, but now I realize that it's ok to not have concrete activities all the time. My evenings were my time. I miss being able to do what I wanted to do on my time. It took me nine months to finally feel comfortable with an open evening or an open weekend, but I don't want to give it up any more. I feel like this blog is also suffering my lack of time and enthusiasm. I just don't have the time to brainstorm and cook and photograph and write and research like I used to. I want that back.

I find it funny that, at one point, I didn't know what I would do after school ended. Now I'd give up school to get that back in a heartbeat.

So, what's next?

  • I'm really considering not going back to USF in January. It's alright. I tried to make it work and I'm recognizing that its not before I throw even more money into it.
  • I have to volunteer four hours at the farm I get my CSA share from, but I'm planning on helping with the weekly harvest a lot more than that, especially once class ends. I want to help out the community that benefits from our local CSA.
  • I've been really researching yoga teacher training (YTT). The 200-hour training is about the same investment as a semester at USF, but I can actually have a payment plan. I could write a whole different post on why I'm drawn to this idea, but what it comes down to is that I want a deeper dive into something that really speaks to me and I want to help people discover that too. And with a fixed 6-month schedule there would be an end in sight, unlike where I am with grad school.

There will still be time for blogging and reading and knitting and cooking and all of the things that make me happy. I knew 2015 would be about finding myself, and I think I have. Now it's time to act on it. It's not a guarantee that any of this will actually happen, but as each day passes I become more and more sure about where I want my life to go.

One thought on “what comes next?

  1. Isn’t it exciting to see when you grow out of something and then into something that fits who you are or who you are becoming? Love when life does that. Kudos!

    Like

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